The Rules of Terror Club

The first rule of Terror Club is: You do not talk about Terror Club.

The second rule of Terror Club is: You DO NOT talk about Terror Club!

Third rule of Terror Club: If someone yells “stop!”, you call them Islamophobic.

Fourth rule: Only four guys per terror cell; you are all “lone wolves.”

Fifth rule: One attack at a time, fellas, until we can coordinate; and no matter how many incidents are linked by a common element, they are all isolated.

Sixth rule: Use whatever weapons kill the most civilians. If you don’t have a weapon of mass destruction, use a kitchen knife.

Seventh rule: Terror Club will go on forever, even after the worldwide caliphate is established.

And the eighth and final rule: If this is your first time at Terror Club, you have to wear the suicide vest.

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