The Car of the Future

So … you won’t be able to actually drive the car of the future, but it will have:

  • Automatic Door Locks
  • Automatic Brakes
  • Automatic Governor
  • Automatic Homing Device
  • Automatic LEO Alert (Stingray optional)
  • Automatic DMV Renewal
  • Automatic Insurance Renewal
  • Automated Clearing House Connectivity
  • Fingerprint reader
  • Retina scanner
  • DNA analyzer
  • Breathalyzer
  • Hate Speech Detector
  • Methane Collector
  • CO2 Scrubber
  • Cell Phone Signal Blocker (unless Stingray option is installed)
  • GPS
  • WiFi
  • RFID
  • Inside/Outside Video Cameras
  • Proximity Alarm
  • Facial Recognition Software
  • Real Time NCIC Search
  • Child Restraint System (for all occupants)
  • Video monitor for continuous loop of glorious revolutionary propaganda films
  • “Fidel is my homie” bumper sticker
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